My week ending in a "5"

So, I have a milestone-ish birthday this week...  45.  I can't quite wrap my brain around that number.  Even harder?  M'Lynn and Erica are half way through their 19th year...  20.  Now that's a big number!  Alecia will turn 18 this year and Brody's voice is changing and will get his learner's permit this summer.  Big numbers...

But, inside?  Not big numbers!  Young!  I admit sometimes my joints don't want to keep up, and my energy doesn't keep up with my plan.  I'm hopeful, though, that treatment for Lyme will put those things in line.

The weekend has been restful, which I'm finding is more necessary than just "nice to have".  Still got the laundry done, and some cleaning, but also a nap yesterday and some quiet time this afternoon.  Otherwise, by Wednesday, life has used up the energy fighting Lyme has left over.  Did that last week; not going to do it two weeks in a row.

Yesterday's highlight was prom dress shopping with M'Lynn and Alecia.  Last daughter's last prom.  After this, it will be the quick and painless rental of a tux.  I'm so glad to have enjoyed all of these trips and trying on dresses and savoring those moments.  Dress shown below; but needs taking in from the hips up and might get a little extra bling.  Good thing her bf's mother does dress alterations for a living!!  :-)

Disenchanted and Disengaged

It's really hard to believe the last post I actually typed and posted was way back in October.  Can't count the number of times I went out to type something, but didn't.

Lots of things about life have been hard - fighting with Lyme, helping (2) daughters fight with Lyme.  Paying for fighting with Lyme.  Knowing the other two kids really need to be tested, but having to wait on finances.  I find I have little energy or interest in much beyond getting through my work day and diving into family time in the evenings.  Enjoying a little head in the sand time.  Thank you, God, for my family.

Speaking of family, we did manage to get some photos over Christmas!!

Do you think my lovely daughters were tired of my test shots with my new camera?!

(wish you could read M'Lynn's socks....  they say "I need a cash cow")

The Austin Branch....

With special thanks to Brody for convincing (tricking?) Raelynn to appear in the photo

The Knapp Branch....

Dustin (goes with Erica) and Clayton (goes with Alecia) even played along when I asked nicely

So, with those beautiful people in my life, why in the world would I be feeling so many negative emotions away from my safe haven?  You'll be so glad you asked.......

Many of the work issues I'm dealing with right now just irritate the crap out of me - that's so tiring.  We have had a small but scary shift in the dynamic at work where one person has been allowed to change our SOP from problem solving to problem dumping.  From teamwork to finger pointing and lack of ownership.  And leadership is just not seeing the change.  In a small company, this has the potential to be fairly serious.  Very frustrating, and disheartening.

Have you noticed how much easier it is for these things to get a good, solid hold when you have some other burden that weighs all the time?  Yep. Definitely having trouble letting go of that greater burden.  Working HARD to "let go and let God".  Hard.

I did find something today out in blog land that I had to share!  The vast majority of people around me are beyond tired of winter by this point.  I've just never been one of them.  Granted, I've never had to earn my living out there, either.  This post from a blog I follow reminded me why, even in the heart of January & February, I still love winter...  http://johndeeremom.blogspot.com/2011/01/winter-blanket.html